that is the unofficial title of this session of camp, because we have three one-week camps, one two-week camp, a mini camp for six-year-olds, and the fourth of july, a ridiculous programming day going on all together. plus the kids are older and bring their teenage dramas in a magnitude that we haven't had so far. it's a lot! but we're settling into a routine with dylan, and all in all, camp life is getting more manageable and even fun.
dylan's little top teeth are coming in, too:) she's getting so big. she's getting better at sitting up, and today when i got her up from her nap, i got her to stand holding the sides of her crib. she doesn't crawl, but still manages to cover a lot of ground pivoting and rolling. dylan also loves blowing raspberries. she is such a cheerful little girl. today was rainy, so i had her in this cute little pink cherry hoodie. so cute:)
our computer came back, but we still aren't online. hopefully soon...
Monday
Friday
one week down
session one is about to close, and all in all, it was a good week. we're starting to get the hang of camp life with baby, the staff did a good job, and there were no big dramas with kids, (except the "stick game" that dented a nurse's car--but that was on the boys' side of camp and was thus not my issue to handle!)
bible studies went well with all four of my groups. we're studying spiritual disciplines, and this week we looked into silence and solitude. we read something from henri nouwen where he argues that community is ultimately built and nurtured in solitude, and it was a topic that encouraged a lot of discussion. my hope is that emphasizing the practice of solitude in the beginning of the summer will prevent staff burnout later on.
dylan is getting more and more vocal. she babbles some, but she really likes to yell and squeal in delight. her two little bottom teeth are visible when she grins the open mouth smile that takes over most of her face. she's becoming grumpier at home and a little impatient, but she loves camp and is always perfectly behaved there. she's a sweetie:)
well, i have a campfire to head to. our computer comes back from "the shop" tomorrow and i ought to be able to write more regularly again.
bible studies went well with all four of my groups. we're studying spiritual disciplines, and this week we looked into silence and solitude. we read something from henri nouwen where he argues that community is ultimately built and nurtured in solitude, and it was a topic that encouraged a lot of discussion. my hope is that emphasizing the practice of solitude in the beginning of the summer will prevent staff burnout later on.
dylan is getting more and more vocal. she babbles some, but she really likes to yell and squeal in delight. her two little bottom teeth are visible when she grins the open mouth smile that takes over most of her face. she's becoming grumpier at home and a little impatient, but she loves camp and is always perfectly behaved there. she's a sweetie:)
well, i have a campfire to head to. our computer comes back from "the shop" tomorrow and i ought to be able to write more regularly again.
Monday
on bodies, beauty, and backstroke
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In middle school, I swam on a summer swim team. I would occasionally win heats against other third tier swimmers, and by the end of my second summer I improved my time enough to become a second tier backstroker, but the Olympics were not in my future.
I was also an unremarkable left fielder and occasional third basewoman for the Cardinals in seventh and eighth grades. Sliding practice, making up cheers, and riding in the back of my dad’s truck after games were what I liked most about softball. I wasn’t an athlete but enjoyed being part of a team.
By ninth grade, the sun had set on team sports for me. We moved and I didn't make the school team--even though it was only the junior high one. The next fall I went out for high school volleyball, which was even more misguided: I quickly learned that varsity volleyball was nothing like the backyard variety when they handed me a pair of knee pads and instructed me to dive.
Perhaps things would have been different if I were an athlete, but I’ve never really felt at home in my body. I suppose I’ve lived more in my head, considering myself an idea person--a writer, a thinker, a problem-solver. I nurtured my creativity and intellectual curiosity but didn’t quite understand how to inhabit my body, which I saw it as something a little foreign, awkward, and in need of work.
As women, we are conditioned to be unsatisfied with bodies that will never meet impossible beauty ideals. This doesn‘t stop us from trying, and we spend billions on the next miracle product that is sure to give us whiter teeth, flatter abs, shinier hair, skinnier thighs, clearer, younger skin, etc, etc, etc. We want our bodies to be simultaneously skinny, curvy, and sculpted, but really, who can possibly look like all that? We live self-consciously as if under a constant critical gaze, but I think more often than not, no one demands the kind of physical perfection we are so disappointed not to find in the mirror.
Through the experiences of childbirth and breastfeeding, I'm learning what it means to inhabit my body in a way that is healthy. My body is strong. It’s miraculous what my body can do and what it has done. My body is not merely ornamental: it nurtures and sustains LIFE--the life of a beautiful little person who I hope will grow to be a confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin, too.
My body is not an object to be viewed, judged, or improved. Instead, I am the subject and actor: with my body I love my husband, feed my baby, nurture, comfort, hold, cuddle, serve, dance, play, laugh, hike, move, and celebrate. Recognizing that who I am is physical as well as spiritual and intellectual, I’m starting to embody my full identity as a woman created in the image of our awesome God:
I will not worship at their alter today, for LORD, you alone are worthy, and it is in you alone that I find my value and purpose.
I was also an unremarkable left fielder and occasional third basewoman for the Cardinals in seventh and eighth grades. Sliding practice, making up cheers, and riding in the back of my dad’s truck after games were what I liked most about softball. I wasn’t an athlete but enjoyed being part of a team.
By ninth grade, the sun had set on team sports for me. We moved and I didn't make the school team--even though it was only the junior high one. The next fall I went out for high school volleyball, which was even more misguided: I quickly learned that varsity volleyball was nothing like the backyard variety when they handed me a pair of knee pads and instructed me to dive.
Perhaps things would have been different if I were an athlete, but I’ve never really felt at home in my body. I suppose I’ve lived more in my head, considering myself an idea person--a writer, a thinker, a problem-solver. I nurtured my creativity and intellectual curiosity but didn’t quite understand how to inhabit my body, which I saw it as something a little foreign, awkward, and in need of work.
As women, we are conditioned to be unsatisfied with bodies that will never meet impossible beauty ideals. This doesn‘t stop us from trying, and we spend billions on the next miracle product that is sure to give us whiter teeth, flatter abs, shinier hair, skinnier thighs, clearer, younger skin, etc, etc, etc. We want our bodies to be simultaneously skinny, curvy, and sculpted, but really, who can possibly look like all that? We live self-consciously as if under a constant critical gaze, but I think more often than not, no one demands the kind of physical perfection we are so disappointed not to find in the mirror.
Through the experiences of childbirth and breastfeeding, I'm learning what it means to inhabit my body in a way that is healthy. My body is strong. It’s miraculous what my body can do and what it has done. My body is not merely ornamental: it nurtures and sustains LIFE--the life of a beautiful little person who I hope will grow to be a confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin, too.
My body is not an object to be viewed, judged, or improved. Instead, I am the subject and actor: with my body I love my husband, feed my baby, nurture, comfort, hold, cuddle, serve, dance, play, laugh, hike, move, and celebrate. Recognizing that who I am is physical as well as spiritual and intellectual, I’m starting to embody my full identity as a woman created in the image of our awesome God:
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).I still have moments when insecurity wins out, but I’m becoming less judgmental and more appreciative of my body as the intricate, powerful instrument it is. I almost said “more forgiving,” but that’s the kind of self-talk I’m working to combat: my perceived flaws are not sins to atone for. My body’s value far exceeds mere appearance, my worth comes from God, and I’m naming the arbitrary beauty ideals for the oppressive, false idols that they are.
I will not worship at their alter today, for LORD, you alone are worthy, and it is in you alone that I find my value and purpose.
Saturday
go!
orientation (or o-week) is in full swing. almost the whole staff is here (about 100) and there is one more week until kids come. we've been sweating and playing and learning and getting to know one another, and the staff is coming together remarkably well. dylan is settling into a napping routine, and i am so far managing to juggle work and baby with minimal drama. i'm managing to stick with cloth diapering even up "on the hill," and that has been working out too. dylan is eating lots of veggies and fruits and she likes the attention from the staff and their families. she sometimes gets overwhelmed with the noise in the dining hall, but otherwise, she's taking it all in stride.
there are 27 women that i sort of get to "big sister," and what's cool is that a few of them were my campers back when they were twelve and i was in college. it's cool to get to know them again as women and see how faithful God has been in their lives.
there has been no internet at our house, so i've stolen a few moments in jim's office, but now i ought to go find him and help get little dylan to bed.
there are 27 women that i sort of get to "big sister," and what's cool is that a few of them were my campers back when they were twelve and i was in college. it's cool to get to know them again as women and see how faithful God has been in their lives.
there has been no internet at our house, so i've stolen a few moments in jim's office, but now i ought to go find him and help get little dylan to bed.
Thursday
on your mark, get set...
this summer i will reprise my role as women's director at camp, and i'm mainly charged with leading discipleship/accountability groups with the 28 college-age women staffers. i also will also be the go-to person for discipline, homesickness, or other issues on the girls' side of camp.
i served in this role two summers ago and really enjoyed leading bible studies with the girls and being available to listen or trouble-shoot. of course, everything will be different this summer, being the mother of a six-month-old baby. i am a little anxious about how it will all work out, because camp is scheduled to a military-like degree, and the biggest thing i've learned in parenting a baby is the need for flexibility.
dylan is little and pretty easy-going, so happily she can spend a lot of time with me up at camp. the biggest issue will be working out naps and feedings. we'll have a high school staffer to help with childcare, and jim can be available during evening times when i can't.
in preparation for this, i've been trying out a little sleep-training, and praise God, dylan is cooperating. up until this week, she typically would nap after being awake for two hours. now we're trying a morning and afternoon nap, and it's been working pretty well so far. she's sleeping longer, seems rested, and i admit it's nice to have a more predictable routine. God is so gracious, reminding me of his power, presence, and love.
if you think of it, will you please pray for our family, as we all adjust to the rhythms and challenges of another summer of ministry? jim's staff is here, the rest of the college staff arrive monday for two more weeks of training, and then camp begins!
i served in this role two summers ago and really enjoyed leading bible studies with the girls and being available to listen or trouble-shoot. of course, everything will be different this summer, being the mother of a six-month-old baby. i am a little anxious about how it will all work out, because camp is scheduled to a military-like degree, and the biggest thing i've learned in parenting a baby is the need for flexibility.
dylan is little and pretty easy-going, so happily she can spend a lot of time with me up at camp. the biggest issue will be working out naps and feedings. we'll have a high school staffer to help with childcare, and jim can be available during evening times when i can't.
in preparation for this, i've been trying out a little sleep-training, and praise God, dylan is cooperating. up until this week, she typically would nap after being awake for two hours. now we're trying a morning and afternoon nap, and it's been working pretty well so far. she's sleeping longer, seems rested, and i admit it's nice to have a more predictable routine. God is so gracious, reminding me of his power, presence, and love.
another praise: dylan has two little baby teeth poking their way through her bottom gums, and so far she's taking it like a champ:)
if you think of it, will you please pray for our family, as we all adjust to the rhythms and challenges of another summer of ministry? jim's staff is here, the rest of the college staff arrive monday for two more weeks of training, and then camp begins!
Wednesday
country mouse, city mouse
there are many things i miss about life in pittsburgh. i miss having friends my age, the open door, using my bike more and my car less, actual diversity, and all the great neighborhoods. i miss art galleries, independent movies, the cultural district, wyep, the arts festival, and free concerts. i miss coffee shops and stores that are open past five. i miss sushi at giant eagle and restaurants that serve something beyond burgers, like baba ganouj, curry, or wat...yum.
there are a few things i don't miss: slum lords, cockroaches the size of dogs, sewage problems, leaky roofs, or dumpsters outside our bedroom windows being emptied at 3, 4, and 5 am. i don't miss traffic, pot holes, aggressive driving, or parking tickets. i don't miss lugging groceries down the block or up several flights of stairs. I don't miss sliding down the icy fire escape--the only way into or out of our first apartment.
i do miss the view from our apartment's roof, but all in all, i know we traded up when it comes to scenery:
there are a few things i don't miss: slum lords, cockroaches the size of dogs, sewage problems, leaky roofs, or dumpsters outside our bedroom windows being emptied at 3, 4, and 5 am. i don't miss traffic, pot holes, aggressive driving, or parking tickets. i don't miss lugging groceries down the block or up several flights of stairs. I don't miss sliding down the icy fire escape--the only way into or out of our first apartment.
i do miss the view from our apartment's roof, but all in all, i know we traded up when it comes to scenery:
we had a memorial day party this weekend, and it was so great to have space to entertain a crowd. camp provides us with a spacious house which overlooks acres of land. kids ran and played and friends staked out various corners of the house and yard to enjoy the weather, beauty, food, and company. i loved seeing people feel comfortable, and it was a gorgeous day to spend outside.
in college, i mostly worked here at camp, but one summer i spent at the pittsburgh project, a community development ministry on the north side. i worked with service camp and helped teenagers renovate houses for low-income, elderly homeowners. i learned about scripture and the intersection of faith and justice. i became acutely aware of poverty issues, racism, and what the shalom and kingdom of God could really look like, "on earth as it is in heaven." i fell in love with the city.
it was also a difficult summer. i lived in a crowded room with close to twenty other girls and experienced virtually no solitude. the only green space in walking distance was a lone ball field. everywhere i turned there was noise, people, and concrete, amplifying my stress, frustration, and loneliness. ligonier certainly beats pittsburgh in the abundant green space department, and in that, my soul rejoices.
in college, i mostly worked here at camp, but one summer i spent at the pittsburgh project, a community development ministry on the north side. i worked with service camp and helped teenagers renovate houses for low-income, elderly homeowners. i learned about scripture and the intersection of faith and justice. i became acutely aware of poverty issues, racism, and what the shalom and kingdom of God could really look like, "on earth as it is in heaven." i fell in love with the city.
it was also a difficult summer. i lived in a crowded room with close to twenty other girls and experienced virtually no solitude. the only green space in walking distance was a lone ball field. everywhere i turned there was noise, people, and concrete, amplifying my stress, frustration, and loneliness. ligonier certainly beats pittsburgh in the abundant green space department, and in that, my soul rejoices.
Saturday
camp anawanna, we hold you in our hearts
we live at a camp--actually the camp i went to as a child, and the one my mom, aunt, uncle, and grandma went to before me. jim and i met on staff here in college, we got engaged on the hill under the stars, and we were married in the little outdoor chapel of the pines. in a lot of ways, camp is like home, but living in ligonier year round, i still feel a lot like a stranger in a strange land.
jim's job is year round, which most people have a hard time grasping. camp only last three months, but a lot goes into recuiting staff and campers, and planning programs in the "off-season." jim directs the adventure program, and that doesn't really get an off-season, except perhaps between thanskgiving and new year's. youth groups, law firms, schools, and sports teams use the property year round for team-building and challenge activities. jim builds and maintains the high and low ropes courses, climbing tower, zip line, and bike park and organizes off-site caving and white water rafting trips. it's a pretty sweet job, and his favorite time of year is the summer when is able to train a staff of twelve college students to run the adventure program for the 2000 kids who will come to camp this summer. he loves teaching and training and vision-casting, and he is great at it. his staff arrives tuesday, and the whirwind begins!
yesterday, i took the baby to visit two friends i made when i was a couselor at camp. i spent almost five hours in the car, dylan barely napped at all, and she screamed the last hour back, but it was still so good to see my old friends. we all have babies. one of the girls, who i met when we were on high school staff together, amazingly has four kids, two of whom i had never met. it was fun to reconnect and get to know one another again in another capacity. i am so thankful for the people that God has brought into my life through the ministry of camp.
jim's job is year round, which most people have a hard time grasping. camp only last three months, but a lot goes into recuiting staff and campers, and planning programs in the "off-season." jim directs the adventure program, and that doesn't really get an off-season, except perhaps between thanskgiving and new year's. youth groups, law firms, schools, and sports teams use the property year round for team-building and challenge activities. jim builds and maintains the high and low ropes courses, climbing tower, zip line, and bike park and organizes off-site caving and white water rafting trips. it's a pretty sweet job, and his favorite time of year is the summer when is able to train a staff of twelve college students to run the adventure program for the 2000 kids who will come to camp this summer. he loves teaching and training and vision-casting, and he is great at it. his staff arrives tuesday, and the whirwind begins!
yesterday, i took the baby to visit two friends i made when i was a couselor at camp. i spent almost five hours in the car, dylan barely napped at all, and she screamed the last hour back, but it was still so good to see my old friends. we all have babies. one of the girls, who i met when we were on high school staff together, amazingly has four kids, two of whom i had never met. it was fun to reconnect and get to know one another again in another capacity. i am so thankful for the people that God has brought into my life through the ministry of camp.
to market, to market
when you hear "farmer's market," your mind probably conjures images of local produce, herbs, plants and flowers. may is pretty early for pennsylvania-grown veggies, but when the ligonier country market opened today, i was honestly looking forward less to zucchini and more to pierogi. they did have lots of flowers and plants for sale, but i really go for the food. everything for sale is homemade or homegrown.
last summer, when i was pregnant and not working at camp, i was able to go more often. i observed a little ritual that involved buying root beer and pierogies, grilled on site, that i'd eat as i wandered. then i'd come to reclaim my spot on the couch, watching pbs cooking shows and intermittently running to the bathroom to be sick. it was a long pregnancy.
this morning, it was a joy to feel healthy, and to take dylan on her first trip to the market. i passed on the stroller in favor of her sling, and covered her head with a pink sun hat. we wandered happily looking at crafts and people-watching. i passed on the root beer, but as per tradition, i bought pierogies to cook for lunch, a berry pie, pizzelles for jim, and nothing healthful or green, although i did pack all my goodies into a recycled tote;) (in case you have no idea what i'm talking about, pierogies are polish potato dumplings and pizzelles are italian cookies.) in my mind, summer has officially begun.
last summer, when i was pregnant and not working at camp, i was able to go more often. i observed a little ritual that involved buying root beer and pierogies, grilled on site, that i'd eat as i wandered. then i'd come to reclaim my spot on the couch, watching pbs cooking shows and intermittently running to the bathroom to be sick. it was a long pregnancy.
this morning, it was a joy to feel healthy, and to take dylan on her first trip to the market. i passed on the stroller in favor of her sling, and covered her head with a pink sun hat. we wandered happily looking at crafts and people-watching. i passed on the root beer, but as per tradition, i bought pierogies to cook for lunch, a berry pie, pizzelles for jim, and nothing healthful or green, although i did pack all my goodies into a recycled tote;) (in case you have no idea what i'm talking about, pierogies are polish potato dumplings and pizzelles are italian cookies.) in my mind, summer has officially begun.
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