You've heard the claim, right? It's a popular refrain in evangelical circles, meant to be edgy and relevant:
"Chick-flicks are emotional porn."
That's right, your favorite Kate Hudson movie is PORN, ladies! Commence feelings of guilt and shame now!
Now, I'm no rom-com apologist. This weekend found me adjusting Netflix settings and rating movies to garner better tailored suggestions. (Stop it with the cartoons! No more zombies!) I thumbed-down a host of women's favorites. How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days? Nope. My Best Friend's Wedding? Boo. Miss Congeniality? Next. Legally Blonde? Ew.
I don't love these movies but not because they're "emotional porn." There is no emotional porn. That is not a thing. The emotional porn argument is just the same Christian legalism in a shinier package, and it's a lie.
The people who make this argument mean well. They desire strong marriages and relationships built on the good things of God. They hate to see people led astray. So do I. So let's have this conversation, but let's have it broadly. Let's talk about media literacy, identifying messages and measuring them against the gospel. Let's practice discernment. Let's test everything. Let's take every thought captive and strive for purity.
But let's be adults, and let's grow our kids into adults in time. Our God is big. Our struggles are different. God may be calling you and me to different boundaries in different seasons, so we'll need to engage critically.
Good. Bad. Safe. Unsafe. These are not useful categories for young people, and they're even less meaningful for Christian adults. Broad labels and easy answers mislead. This is not the way for lovers of the Truth.
The "emotional porn" label is more confusing than clarifying, and it exists as yet another way to police women's behavior. It also minimizes the degradation and damage that actual porn inflicts (perhaps on women most of all). Ryan Gosling may be impossibly romantic with impossible abs, but his leading man ideal does not debase or exploit. To some degree, all literature, film, and entertainment are fantastic, but it's quite a leap to imply that every fantasy is pornographic or inherently destructive. Sandra Bullock movies are not addictive, and Twilight is unlikely to ruin your neighbor's marriage or your son's self-image.
Ultimately, I don't know whether or not you should watch that movie in particular or chick-flicks in general. Perhaps the genre fosters dissatisfaction, and it's best to steer clear. Maybe they're harmless fun. It's not up to me to interpret God's will for your life.
Ultimately, I don't know whether or not you should watch that movie in particular or chick-flicks in general. Perhaps the genre fosters dissatisfaction, and it's best to steer clear. Maybe they're harmless fun. It's not up to me to interpret God's will for your life.
Chick flicks are not pornographic, but that does not mean that they are value-neutral. We still need to do the work of interpreting media messages. We are influenced by culture and owe it to God, ourselves, and one another as Christians to settle neither for mindless entertainment nor rigid legalism.
So let's dig in. Let's open our eyes and engage critically. Let's wrestle with what it looks like to be not conformed to the world but transformed. Let's have conversations about relationship and fantasy, entertainment, and what honors God. Let's talk about what grows a person and relationship. Let's identify which messages we're susceptible to and fight the tide toward passive media consumption.
And then let's not chain each other to the specific and personal ways we discern God's leading in our own lives. It is for freedom that Christ sets us free.
A follow-up: consume, critique, create | culture & the Kingdom
A follow-up: consume, critique, create | culture & the Kingdom
