Showing posts with label i heart pittsburgh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i heart pittsburgh. Show all posts

Thursday

i left my heart in pittsburgh


When we discovered a third floor walk-up in a brick Bloomfield row house, we knew our little family of two had come home to the East End at last. Boasting a sunny kitchen outfitted in fifties-era fixtures and compact appliances, Hobbit ceilings, and actual sleeping quarters, the apartment felt palatial at $325 a month. So what if it was accessible only by fire escape and lacked a bedroom door? The Shire was ours, and God bless the youth group parents who dropped off teenagers in the back alley for dinners and movie nights.

You Are Here is a multi-contributor storytelling site organized around ideas of place. I've got a guest piece up there today, and hope you'll come by and have a look.

Sunday

in the half-light of our love


One of my favorite songwriters is Bill Deasy, party because his work reveals a sort of incarnational bent toward life and love. He is (was?) Catholic, and I suspect that Catholicism has something to teach the rest of us about how faith is embodied.

In vain I tried to find a video to share with you of one of my favorite songs of his. There are clips here and here, but you should probably just go ahead pick up his whole catalog. (And his fiction while you're at it.)

So no melody for you. Pretend it's a poem. Which, of course, it is.

Naked

8 years old and running with a pounding in my chest
Hard to say how often, almost every day I guess
Me and little Nancy from across the neighborhood
Taking all our clothes of in a clearing in the woods
Until one day the sun broke through the trees
And suddenly I saw that we were

Naked - dancing near the devil's flame
Naked - I ran home carrying my shame
All great big and heavy 
16 years later I was 24
I would awaken to the slamming of an unfamiliar door
I'd take in my surroundings by nothing'd ring a bell
Oh it was really kind of boring, my little sideshow hell
Steam covered mirrors did not lie
And suddenly I saw that I was 
Naked - pencil thin and paper dry
Naked - I didn't leave a note goodbye 
Time takes time
Change goes slow
Love comes hard
To folks I know 
Now here I'm standing, got this baggage at my feet
Yeah it's the usual assortment of forgetful memories
Ain't it funny how you saw it all and didn't run away?
Yeah it's funny how in showing you I knew I was okay
Here in the half-light of our love
Your body fits me like a glove 
Naked - what you see is who I am
Naked - I finally found the strength to stand
Naked - who we are is all I am yeah
Naked - I finally found the guts to stand here naked
{Bill Deasy, from Chasing Down a Spark}

Wednesday

IndieFlix | streaming independent film {giveaway}

This giveaway is closed, and everyone who commented wins! I'm basically Oprah and will be in touch with your codes shortly:)

Summer staff and horses arrived yesterday, after a week which included my best friend's wedding in Philly, preschool graduation, kindergarten registration, two field trips, an amusement park outing, visits from both sets of grandparents, and a fantastic writing retreat all the way out in Michigan.

I haz tired. So let's do something fun, shall we?



I've got ten two-month subscriptions to IndieFlix, and they're not even that sketchy kind that make you give your credit card number in hopes just in case you forget to cancel your "free" trial. Nope, this is real, sixty day no-strings access to the kind of movies that are basically impossible to find anymore.

I miss video stores, man. There was this fabulous place in Pittsburgh in the back of the coffee shop down the block that carried the best and weirdest stuff that no one comes close to carrying anymore. You can't even find a West Coast with the suspicious curtain in the back and the mildly burned-out clerks who could always be counted on to recommend gems. The nearest art house theater is over an hour away, our local mom and pop video store shuttered its windows long ago, and even the gas station gave back its movie kiosk. Times are tough for film aficionados!

Enter IndieFlix, an online subscription service granting access to independent films and shorts of every genre and stripe. So far I've seen the delightfully strange Lovely by Surprise, a teaser of a documentary about Ben's Chili Bowl in DC (yay!), and Finding Kind, another documentary on female bullying that they're featuring until the end of the month. The kiddos enjoyed a few animated shorts, too.

Want to win? Just tell me one (or several) of your favorite independent, smaller studio/budget, non-blockbuster-y films, making sure to log in with an email or another way to get in touch if you win. Feel free to comment and enter multiple times if you've got recommendations to spare (or check out IndieFlix and comment with something you'd like to see).

Giveaway ends Thursday night (5/30/13) at 11:59 PM (EST) when we'll pick ten winners. These won't net you extra entries, but you are, as always more than welcome to subscribe or follow along on facebooktwitterinstagram or pinterestGood luck:)

Giveaways and my own subscription provided by IndieFlix.

Thursday

tragically hip: privilege, sexism, & the emerging church


I.

Conversation heated this week surrounding a recent Emergence Christianity gathering and the seemingly anti-feminist sentiments offered by Phyllis Tickle in her closing keynote. Julie Clawson (and other women) unpacked some of the tensions those words presented in a faith movement that prides itself on being forward-thinking, inclusive, and postmodern only to be chided by male leaders for launching "attacks".

Here we go again.

Can we talk about privilege? I've noticed that people's interest in discussing or accounting for privilege may be inversely proportional to the amount they possess. Which can be sort of a problem.

No one likes to admit to possessing any advantage over anyone else. You know, Bootstraps! and all that. Remember the Romney campaign and the Republican National Convention this past summer? We built it!

(I don't think this is a peculiarly American tendency.)

Upon hearing the word "privilege," many conjure images of prep schools, country clubs, and Old Money and launch into defensive mode: You have no IDEA what my life is like! / how hard I work! / what my family of origin was like!

You'd be right. I probably don't. You don't know my whole story, either, but these conversations can be windows into one another's experiences and a chance for us to learn.

Having privilege doesn't mean that one's life is easy or that you've never experienced disadvantage or pain. It is not a personal indictment but an acknowledgement that social and institutional benefits enjoyed by some are denied to others.

These conversations are complicated by the fact that many people will experience privilege in one realm and oppression and disadvantage in another. (Shay unpacks this well here.) I experience privileges as an able-bodied and neurotypical person, including easy access to buildings and restrooms, being able to hear fire alarms and announcements, and trusting that people aren't much concerned about my potential for "violent" break-downs.

Education and socio-economic status grant me other advantages, as does my Christian faith (despite what the distressed might have us believe). White skin confers an invisible knapsack full of privileges about which I rarely am made to give a passing thought. (Dianna Anderson explores this more.) Being heterosexual and cisgender allow me social and legal benefits that many cannot claim--or take for granted.

Beauty and intelligence confer advantages, along with speaking English (extra points for doing it without a perceivable accent), affluence, class, and age (or youth, depending), and there are certainly other areas I'm leaving out.

Privilege is largely invisible unless you don't possess it. Although it's easy for me, especially as a straight, white person, to remain oblivious to many of the advantages that I enjoy, in the areas where I lack access or power, that void is glaringly apparent and not so easily forgotten.

Which brings me to male privilege. Lord, have mercy.

II.


In the early '00s I was a church youth minister, and during that time, my supervisor begin planting a missional, emerging church that Jim and I were part of as well. I read the books, relishing the wrestling that stretched my faith and energized the ministry.

But in 2005 we relocated to a small town, trading city life and our emerging church for camp ministry and a decidedly unsexy church full of modernist sort of folks who are double and triple our age. There was nary a goatee or guitar in sight, but we found a home there anyway, embracing liturgical tradition and the grace and generosity of community unlike ourselves in age, income, and often worldview.

It's only in recent months and years, though blogging and twitter, that I've waded back into the "emergent conversation." (Or whatever it's called now. I'm rusty.) My theology still overlaps, but I don't feel the same vigor. I feel like an outsider and not only because of the time that's passed.

As a woman, I am outsider looking in on a movement that appears to have lost much of its initial Kingdom-oriented vitality and practical, boundary-busting appeal.

Emergence Christianity online is largely a boys' club dominated by academics, celebrity voices, and professional clergy, and the climate can be dismissive of or even hostile toward the voices of women and people of color. They talk about being welcoming, affirming, open, and inclusive, but not everyone experiences that in actuality.

It's disheartening to hear white guys dismiss concerns about diversity and justice work as "identity politics," favoring theory and theology over people, stories, and meaningful change. What does it matter if you've got a rigourous Marxist argument and a brilliant vision for achieving actual systemic equality if you are actually talking over and silencing the very people excluded by current systems favoring you? There is nothing progressive about mansplaining.

the best Tumblr ever
Accusing people of "playing identity politics" is a fun trick played by voices on the Right, too, on gay people who speak up about bullying or discrimination, women who expose rape culture, and people of color who highlight racism in America. One privileged man's "politics" is another's identity, culture, and daily experience of injustice in the world. This dismissive categorization comes across like an intellectualized version of pipe down / play nice.

Is it possible to unite across demographics and to experience identity in being the body of Christ and liberation through growing the upside-down Kingdom of God together? Absolutely. That is part of the hope of the gospel, and I've certainly seen healing, beauty, and reconciliation come through Christ's love and common work. But privileged folks, whose identity and experiences are also socially located, must stop expecting others to check their personhood at the door and assuming the sort of faux neutrality or moral high ground we may not, in fact, possess.

We can't build the Kingdom of God with the tools of Empire and privilege.

III.

Lack of female participation on a popular emerging theology blog led to an invitation not long ago for women to speak up, and they did in spades. I was particularly interested in how emerging pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber responded:

In general women are socialized to be fair-minded and aware of not stating our opinions too boldly (lest we offend or alienate) and to make sure everyone stays friends. This isn’t a completely bad thing, but as a result most of us have never learned to hold a position or stand firm in an argument because we are too busy trying to make sure people like us. So of course less women comment on the blog of a guy who’s not terribly concerned with any of that.

I don't disagree with her assessment of a particularly feminine tendency not to rock the boat. We are socialized that way, but it's patriarchy that enforces it, frequently painting (and punishing) assertive women as divisive, shrill, vitriolic, crazy, combative, contentious, and worse. Tony, who has made a brand out of being an ass (his words), is rewarded as a man for engaging aggressively, but when women accepted his invitation to comment and reacted strongly to his abrasive brand, he wrote a follow-up parable "releasing" angry critics from hanging around.

To me, this begs questions about what are the more "feminine" ways of relating, and why do progressive Christians preference [in men] more argumentative and "masculine" styles? Is this a value to uphold or subvert? Is there room practically in a movement framed as a conversation for a variety of personalities, backgrounds, gifts, and leadership styles and for people who don't conform to the prescriptive gender assumptions many still cling to, even unconsciously? Can we differentiate critique from attack, and is there room to disagree?

We aren't anywhere close to being post-racial, post-feminist, or post-equality, and I wonder into what are we "emerging" if the old ways of patriarchy and protected, hierarchical leadership still hang on so doggedly?

IV.

Despite all of this, I'm choosing to be encouraged. My hope is not in Emergence, politics, denominations, or celebrity pastors, but I do hold out hope for the one holy catholic and apostolic Church wherever She loves well. I hope in my sisters and brothers, in the Spirit moving, and the Kingdom of God taking root in even the darkest, most barren reaches of Empire. I'm choosing to sing freedom songs with Sarah Bessey who is done fighting for a seat at the table:

I have a tremendous well of hope for the voice of women in the church. The men at the table may be loud but the pockets of hope and love and freedom are spreading like yeast. I see it. I feel it in the ground under my feet. More and more of us are sick of wa
iting for a seat and so we are simply going outside, to freedom, together. And here, outside, we’re finding each other and it’s beautiful and crazy and churchy and holy. 
We are simply getting on with it, with the work and the community and the dreaming and the loving and the living out of the hope of glory.
We are getting on with it indeed, and no label, conference, leader, or small-c-church will legitimize or erase the work that God in doing in our midst.

So let's raise a glass to the lovers and truth-tellers. To servant leaders, liberation seekersencouragers, dreamers, readers, fighters, thinkers, pilgrimsstorytellers, and friends. To womanists, activistssages, survivors, and scholars. To artists, listeners, prophets, pastors, mamas, writerswrestlersmystics, feministscontemplatives, and women of valor. To question-askers, shit-stirrers, breach-menders, Kingdom-builders, boundary pushers, and trail blazers. To the bold, brave, honest, real, kind, and wise. To bakers, peacemakers, and rule breakers; to all the unsung faithful; and the daily practice of sacrificial, resurrecting love.

To lighting bonfires and raising something beautiful out of ash.

the Midwife of Hope River {giveaway}

The Midwife of Hope River is the first fictional offering from memoirist and real-life baby catcher, Patricia Harman. Friends, I loved this book, a captivating amalgam of some of my favorite themes and interests: natural childbirth, history, homesteading, radical politics, and more.

You know I love Pittsburgh something fierce. History was one of my majors, and American urban/labor/immigrant history interests me most. Give me Pittsburgh history, and I will nerd out. (Rick Sebak documentaries are my happy place.)

The book's protagonist, Patience Murphy, lived in Pittsburgh during the early Jazz Age, rubbing shoulders with the time's most famous artists and organizers. Parts of the story look back on Patience's life there and elsewhere, but most of it focuses on her life in rural West Virginia after the market crashes and the Depression begins.

Patience is not her real name. She left Pittsburgh after tragedy, and is starting anew in Appalachia. Her mentor is dead, and she is alone with memories of much loss. She misses the city and feels out of place in her new home (with her two dogs named after anarchists!) but carves out a crucial community role for herself as midwife.

If you are interested in midwifery or medicine, you will love this rare glimpse into what birthing was like eighty years ago. If that's not your bag, the book's many birthing scenes could prove a bit intense, but it's still fascinating. Harman provides an interesting look at best practices through a narrative lens, and it's cool to see the historical context for aspects of natural birth that aren't trendy but, in fact, traditional.

Racial tension, rugged rural life, healing, spirituality, and friendship are the other threads that weave throughout The Midwife of Hope River. The story and characters are compelling, and I highly recommend it, particularly if you appreciate americana and women's history.

Want to win a copy? Leave a comment with your own book recommendation, and I'll pick a winner at random at midnight on Wednesday, September 27. (If your name is Jen Luitwieler, imma send you my own copy, because methinks this is right up your alley:)

Author Patricia Harman: website, facebook, twitter
Review and giveaway copies provided by TLC Book Tours. Opinions mine, as per always.  Amazon affiliate links. But you knew that:)

hazardous faith | a dreamer is humbled



"Where you from?"

"Philly," I replied, certain that he wasn't familiar with my town, six hours east of the stoop where we gathered that first day. Neighborhood kids darted playfully through the crowd of twenty-somethings, drawn together from across the country and right next door for a summer of urban ministry.

Narrowing brown eyes, he pressed me. "The city of Philadelphia? Or the suburbs?

I had not sought the group's attention but had it suddenly, a flush creeping up my neck. Black faces turned toward mine, a mixture of amusement and suspicion. White faces looked uncomfortable, embarrassed.

My voice was small. "I live about forty minutes outside."

"Then you're not really from Philly now, are you?"

I was not. And that day, I was as far from home as I had ever been.

***

I'd planned to spend that summer with the religion department in Palestine, chasing justice and adventure, but political unrest grew, and the trip was cancelled. A summer in Pittsburgh seemed like a worthy, if less hazardous substitute. I'd work with teams of middle and high school students, renovating homes for low-income elderly owners.

I was great with teens. White teens, that is. It was perhaps the only gift that I brought to the internship, knowing little of urban poverty or race and even less of housing repair. The summer humbled me, revealing the iceberg tip of my own privilege and ignorance.

One night past bedtime, I was on close-up with my partner. Our work camp teams were tucked into bed upstairs, but outside a group of neighborhood kids fooled around, playing ball and talking boisterously. Attempts to quiet them down and send them home were unsuccessful. A few busted inside, wreaking quick and noisy havoc before running off laughing into the night.

The kids won't listen to us! we lamented, frustrated at the lack of respect [that we were owed?].

This is their neighborhood, the director reminded gently. You are visitors, but this is their home. What do you think it's like for our friends when unfamiliar white faces--who have not yet learned their names--tell them that they can't play ball?

***

I thought that it would be romantic, serving Jesus there on the North Side. Fresh off of a semester studying urban history and liberation theology, my starry eyes and bleeding heart were high to change the world.

As it turned out, crowded quarters and concrete weren't romantic in the least. The ice cream man sold drugs, and the only green space was a sparse and littered ball field. We worked on inhabited homes lacking walls and smelling of cats and found a heavy dose of tension for every inspired grace.

Of all the things that needed changing, it was my heart that God softened first, revealing my pride and the depth of what I still had to learn.


This post is part of Ed Cyzewski's synchroblog celebrating the launch of his new book, Hazardous: Committing to the Cost of Following Jesus, with Derek Cooper. Would you take a moment to preview the book here? You can link up your own story (and read more) over at Ed's place.

Friday

grace notes {ten years}

We met at twenty, bright eyes wide to love and adventure, and marriage accorded both in plenty. Grateful today for ten years and life written together.

You are the known way leading always to the unknown,
and you are the known place to which the unknown is always
leading me back.  -Wendell Berry


Ten years and the betters outweigh the worse by far
We wouldn't trade lavish stories for fuller pockets,
for our eyes glimpsed God's faithful hand at work

Memories cling like fire escapes to third floor walk-ups
The barista and bike messenger fade to lore for
country views and two babes our love made
Four helmets line the hall and we still savor coffee hot

Did you think that we'd be young forever, too?

But we've grown up, learned grace notes
Hearts rest in being known and loving more

An outpost in a peaceable kingdom can be a lonely place, but
home is wherever i'm with you.

This poem is reworked from one published 8/24/11.
Another on married love: Full Hearts

Ministry, Mentors, & Holy Imagination



Presence is powerful.  So is absence. Seeing women in leadership matters to girls and equally to women still longing to have their passions, talents, and personhood affirmed by the Body of Christ. The void of women's leadership in the Church is painful and palpable, and the spectrum of God's image will never be fully visible so long as any are silenced, diminished, or excluded.
It's difficult to dream what we haven't glimpsed. Christ's Bride suffers for lack of holy imagination.

Ed Cyzewski is hosting a powerful series on women in ministry, and I am privileged to share part of my story there today.  Ed is a peacemaker who writes with the kind of grace and restraint that is as refreshing as it is rare, especially in a climate that seems to reward polarizing and hostile voices.  If you haven't visited his site, remedy that!  

Read the rest of my post over there, and consider contributing your own to the series.



first you try everything

Two weeks of illness and a bit of travel on Jim's end translated into a bit of quiet here on the blog-front. Today, I am happy to report that skies are blue, energy returns, and I'm confident that spring will indeed swap snow for leaves before long.

We've barely left the house, and I have little to show for two weeks beside a messy house, but dang it, I did read a book (and watch nearly two season of Friday Night Lights, 'cause I'm literary like that:)  I'm happy to pass my copy of Jane McCafferty's newest novel along to another reader, so just leave a comment and I'll ship it out to one of you next week.


First You Try Everythingis the second novel from the Pittsburgh author, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University.  The Steel City figures so prominently as to be almost a character instead of merely the setting in which a love story unravels.  As a former Pittsburgher, that was a delicious surprise, but even non-yinzers will appreciate McCafferty's loving attention to place.

Ben and Evvie are in their early forties, married since youth.  They take turns narrating the tale, which is as much about Evvie's descent into mental illness as it is about the dissolution of a marriage.  Their story is heartbreaking and human, and the poetic way that McCafferty inhabits her character's thoughts, fears, and delusions is powerful and evocative.

There are no villains.  Evvie and Ben love each other, and even as he pulls away, his tenderness never wanes.  Their lives are so entwined that there can be no clean break; they are part of the fabric of one another.  But her illness is a wedge, and they cannot be healthy or whole together any longer.

It's not a feel-good story, obviously, but the emotion rings true, the characters well-drawn:
Her heart was big and opening, breaking in half like a drawbridge.
She looked at his face.  Now that he has crossed this radical, irreparable line, he loved her again, the way you love your old town as the train pulls away from the station.
Want to read it, too?  Leave a comment by 2/21/12 with your own book recommendation (and a way to get in touch), and I'll let random.org pick someone to send my once-read copy to.

Disclosure:  There is a (peanut butter?) smudge on one page, but that's sorta how things roll around here.  My copy was provided by TLC, and I was not otherwise compensated for this review.



Wednesday

to one by one forever be


nine years and the betters
outweigh the worse by far.
love and laughter, tears and struggle,
a bit more poor than rich, but that's ministry.
we wouldn't trade our lavish stories for fuller pockets
because our eyes have seen God's very hand at work

from third floor walk-ups, baristas and bike messengers, to
summer camp, backyard chickens, and the two beautiful babes our love made,
it's been quite a ride.

did you think we'd be young forever, too?

but we've grown up, figuring out this
life faith marriage parenting thing together.
love grows
and we're learning as we go:

speaking truth in love
the grace of forgiveness
the beauty of a humble spirit
(yours speaks volumes, love)

an outpost in a peaceable Kingdom can be
a lonely place, but
home is wherever i'm with you

i'm ever-grateful for the one we've built together


shared with emily and imperfect prose.  even though this was not a five minute post, i'm linking with the gypsy mama because her prompt "older" was just so fitting.

we'll shine like stars in the summer night

the city of blinding lights

We had a little church up in section 521, we did.

U2 came to play, ending the U.S. leg of their 360 tour last night at Pittsburgh's Heinz Field and treating 60,000 of us to an incredible show.

It was every bit as magical as the PopMart tour and blew Vertigo out of the water. Their last two albums never get a lot of play from me, and I started to wonder if U2 wasn't my favorite band so much as my favorite band from high school.

Last night, the boys of Dublin convinced me that although I've come a long way since high school, some things aren't meant to change.  There's a reason U2 is arguable the biggest band in the world.  They performed a host of anthems from their catalog and brought the crowd to its feet, rocking hard for two and half transcendent hours, from the very first note of "Even Better Than The Real Thing" to final chorus of "Bad."

My feet touched holy ground there on the concrete slab beneath the bleachers of section 521.

There are no ordinary spaces, are there?  God's sacred glory hovers over all things, infusing every corner of life with truth and grace and beauty.  "Secular" is about as meaningless (and deceptive) a label as the "Christian" when applied to anything other than a person or church.

We may expect to meet God at church on Sunday, but it's probably time to stop acting as though God dwells within four walls.  Oh, that we would each have eyes to see and hearts to recognize God's holy presence all around us.

Even a rock concert at the football stadium downtown.

Tuesday

sowing seeds of life and love

this born-and-bred suburban girl's heart belongs to the city.

third floor walk-ups, fire escape-only access, slumlords?  count me in, as long as we could ride bikes to a wilco show, order curry, wat, or pho in the neighborhood, and walk to our friend's gallery opening.

our family's semi-rural life today looks nothing like our newlywed years in pittsburgh, but i love the view and tastes from here, too.  it is said that palates change with age, and i know hearts must as well.



this will be our third year gardening, and we're thrilled to be partnering with another family and growing heirloom seeds together for the first time.  we've got tomatoes, herbs, and eggplant growing in the kitchen; lettuces, carrots, rapini, swiss chard and more sprouting outside; and big plans for bean forts for our three babes.


we're learning as we go.  mice ate every single pepper sprout right out of our friends' kitchen, and we didn't know broccoli and cauliflower needed heat lamps until after their stems grew up weak and flopsy.  we'll know better next year.

this summer is the first i'll not be pregnant or tending a newborn. i'm thrilled that we'll all be more involved in growing food together, with friends to make even hard work sweet.


the kids love being outdoors, exploring and digging up worms, and i'm so thankful for wide open spaces for them to relish.  here they don't need anything to entertain them beyond a push on the swing or a fistful of sidewalk chalk.

it's different outside.  i recognize it with each first breath and see it in their wonder-filled eyes as they bring me treasures found and stuff pockets brim-ful with rocks.

we take off shoes to feel the cool grass beneath our feet.


***

dylan and james both gobbled vegetables as babies and turn their noses up now.  frozen winter veggies are not the same, and looking forward to vine ripe tomatoes and fresh picked peas, still-warm from the sun, i know we can convert them back.


spring is the season of sudden storms, unreal green, and mushrooms growing wild.  jim found these morels, and we spent time yesterday picking dandelion greens for a saute.  the kids didn't eat either, but when our friend brought us fresh picked poke (wild asparagus), james surprised us all by enthusiastically eating it dipped in spicy chimichurri.


all things considered, both kids are bigger fans of our maple syrup than foraged greens, but who could blame them?  between fresh eggs and syrup, we do a lot of breakfasts-for-dinner, and in this season of life (and the year), that's more than ok for us.


we have another fun project in the works this spring:

(click through to view video if viewing rss feed.)

the chicks are staying with neighbors until they're old enough to hold their own with the hens we have now, and they should be mature and laying eggs by the early fall.


i never envisioned life like this but love it for my little ones.  this summer, when i'm cutting greens for salads and the children run about chasing chickens in the yard, i know that there is no place i'd rather be.

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes

{Elizabeth Barrett Browning}


***Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama
Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Growing in the Outdoors. Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting. Please take time to read the submissions by the other participants:
  • Get Out!Momma Jorje gives reasons she doesn't think she gets outside enough and asks for your suggestions on making time for the outdoors.
  • How Does Your Garden Grow?The ArtsyMama shares her love of nature photography.
  • We Go Outside — Amy at Peace 4 Parents describes her family's simple, experiential approach to encouraging appreciation of nature.
  • My Not-So-Green Thumb — Wolfmother confesses to her lack of gardening skills but expresses hope in learning alongside her son at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
  • Enjoying Outdoors — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine describes how her children enjoy the nature.
  • Five Ideas to Encourage the Reluctant Junior Gardener — For the rare little ones who don't like to get their hands dirty, Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers tips for encouraging an early love of dirt (despite the mess).
  • Connecting to NatureMamapoekie shares how growing your own vegetable patch connects your child to nature and urges them to not take anything for granted.
  • The Farmer's Market Classroom — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction shares how the Farmer's Market has become her son's classroom.
  • Seeds — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment's hubby Ken shares his perspective on why gardening with their kiddos is so important . . . and enjoyable!
  • Toddlers in the Garden — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares her excitement as she continues to introduce her toddler and new baby to the joys of fresh veggies, straight from the garden.
  • Nature's Weave — MJ at Wander Wonder Discover explains how nature weaves its way into our lives naturally, magnetically, experientially, and spiritually.
  • Becoming Green — Kristina at Hey Red celebrates and nurtures her daughter's blossoming love of the outdoors.
  • Little Gardener — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis looks forward to introducing her baby girl to gardening and exploring home grown foods for the first time.
  • Cultivating Abundance — You can never be poor if you have a garden! Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on what she cultivates in her garden . . . and finds it's a lot more than seeds!
  • Growing in the Outdoors: Plants and People — Luschka at Diary of a First Child reflects on how she is growing while teaching her daughter to appreciate nature, the origins of food, and the many benefits of eating home-grown.
  • How Not to Grow — Anna at Wild Parenting discusses why growing vegetables fills her with fear.
  • Growing in the Outdoors — Lily at Witch Mom Blog talks about how connecting to the natural world is a matter of theology for her family and the ways that they do it.
  • A Garden Made of Straw — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares tips on making a straw bale garden.
  • The Tradition of Gardening — Carrie at Love Notes Mama reflects on the gifts that come with the tradition of gardening.
  • Gardening Smells Like Home — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon hopes that her son will associate home grown food and lovely flowers with home.
  • The New Normal — Patti at Jazzy Mama writes about how she hopes that growing vegetables in a big city will become totally normal for her children's generation.
  • Outside, With You — Amy at Anktangle writes a letter to her son, a snapshot of a moment in the garden together.
  • Farmer Boy — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how her son Joshua helps to grow and raise their family's food.
  • Growing Kids in the Garden — Lisa at Granola Catholic shares easy ways to get your kids involved in the garden.
  • Growing Food Without a Garden — Don't have a garden? "You can still grow food!" says Mrs Green of Little Green Blog. Whatever the size of your plot, she shows you how.
  • Growing Things — Liz at Garden Variety Mama shares her reasons for gardening with her kids, even though she has no idea what she's doing.
  • MomentsUK Mummy Blogger explains how the great outdoors provides a backdrop for her family to reconnect.
  • Condo Kid Turns Composter and Plastic Police — Jessica from Cloth Diapering Mama has discovered that her young son is a true earth lover despite living in a condo with no land to call their own.
  • Gardening with Baby — Sheila at A Gift Universe shows us how her garden and her son are growing.
  • Why to Choose Your Local Farmer's MarketNaturally Nena shares why she believes it's important to teach our children the value of local farmers.
  • Unfolding into Nature — At Crunchy-Chewy Mama, Jessica Claire shares her desire to cultivate a reverence for nature through gardening, buying local food, and just looking out the window.
  • Urban Gardening With Kids — Lauren at Hobo Mama shares her strategies for city gardening with little helpers — without a yard but with a whole lot of enthusiasm.
  • Mama Doesn't Garden — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life is glad her husband is there to instill the joys of gardening in their children, while all she has to do is sit back and eat homegrown tomato sandwiches.
  • Why We Make this Organic Garden Grow — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her reasons for gardening with her three small children.
  • 5 Ways to Help Your Baby Develop a Love of the Natural World — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama believes it's never too early to foster a love of the natural world in your little one.
  • April Showers Bring May PRODUCE — Erika at NaMammaSte discusses her plans for raising a little gardener.
  • Growing Outside — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers how to get her kids outside after weeks of spring rain.
  • Eating Healthier — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey talks about how she learns to eat healthier and encourages her children to do the same.
  • The Beauty of Earth and Heavens — Inspired by Charlotte Mason, Erica at ChildOrganics discovers nature in her own front yard.
  • Seeing the Garden Through the Weeds — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro talks about the challenges of gardening with two small children.
  • Creating a Living Playhouse: Our Bean Teepee! — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares how her family creates a living playhouse "bean teepee" and includes tips of how to involve kids in gardening projects.
  • Grooming a Tree-Hugger: Introducing the Outdoors — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her planned strategies for making this spring and summer memorable and productive for her pre-toddler in the Outdoors.
  • Sowing Seeds of Life and Love — Suzannah at ShoutLaughLove celebrates the simple joys of baby chicks, community gardening, and a semi-charmed country life.
  • Experiencing Nature and Growing Plants Outdoors Without a Garden — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares some of her favorite ways her family discovered to fully experience nature wherever they lived.
  • Garden Day — Melissa at The New Mommy Files is thankful to be part of community of families, some of whom can even garden!
  • Teaching Garden Ettiquette to the Locusts — Tashmica from Mother Flippin' (guest posting at Natural Parents Network) allows her children to ravage her garden every year in the hopes of teaching them a greater lesson about how to treat the world.
  • Why I Play with Worms. — Megan of Megadoula, Megamom and Megatired shares why growing a garden and raising her children go hand in hand.

Monday

here's a hymn to welcome in the day

it's been a whirlwind of a week, but one packed with grace.  these blessings are from the last four days only.

an ongoing record of God's goodness, #228-257

a maundy thursday meditation on the disciples' (and my) fleeing Christ's nonviolent path

a moms' retreat coming together

the spare tire in the back of the car and a husband able to change a flat

entertaining babes on a bridge to nowhere, thankful for warmth as we waited

a trip into pittsburgh

a real live date

dinner without cutting meat into tiny portions

cocktail sipped and pita dipped

adult conversation without cajoling anyone to "one more bite!"

birthday tickets to an amazing decemberists' show

a night without tears (except the ones i may have cried at the crane wife 3)


the lovely benedum theater


them closing with june hymn on a perfect spring day

a generous friend who took good care of the babes

a great team to stage the journey to the cross good friday at church

the earned tiredness of hard work

creating a space for worship and reflection

meditating on Christ's sacrifice

jim's parents in for easter weekend

james saying "grammy! ball!"

being the "expert witness" at saturday's great cloth diaper change.  (when i track down photos of this, i will post more)

gelato with james in a favorite outdoor care

tulips in bloom in time to celebrate resurrection

a playful red fox scampering through the fields 

dinner with family and good friends

egg hunting merriment and dylan's pure joy


easter ham

chocolate eggs

a rousing game of scattergories

an empty tomb and the return of the alleluia

Tuesday

{ShoutLaughLove}: a woman's place

Dozens of us gathered atop Mount Washington to pray.  To lift our voices, that this city on a hill would become as known for Jesus as it once was for steel.

Eyes open, we looked out over the expansive Three Rivers.  Yellow bridges bustled with commuters gearing up for work in towers that defined the skyline.  Heinz Field, that beacon of Steelers pride, anchored the far shore.

We looked out at each other, too.  Though strangers, we were partners in ministry to youth across the city and suburbs.  We came to swap stories of a shared calling, to encourage one another in the work of loving kids like Jesus.

It was a diverse crowd by race and gender, though less by age.  But it soon became clear that every woman there was a spouse or volunteer--all but two of us.

At twenty-two, the Director of Youth Ministry position was my first Big Girl Job.  I didn't have a divinity degree or a decade of experience, but my heart belonged to my God and *my* kids, whom I loved with abandon.

It was hard to believe that one could actually be paid (not much, but still) to hang out with students over coffee and conversation, ski trips and soup kitchens, late nights and laughter, concerts and campfires, service projects and Sunday school.  What other job lets you craft Bible studies and watch Gilmore Girls on the clock?

I loved my work, but the nomenclature always tripped me up.  Director of Youth Ministry never felt right:  it was too close to Youth Director, and I wasn't directing teens in some sort of performance.  Youth Worker sounded awkward and weird, and it didn't fit really, since I was creating a program and not working for someone else's.

OK, Someone Else's, obviously, but you get my point, yes?

Youth Pastor was a title decidedly reserved for those middle-aged men with the M Divs.  Whenever I tried to claim it (because often it was just easier to say Youth Pastor), I would invariably get the "but you're not really a pastor, right?"

No, I am not really a pastor.  But I am a minister. And so are you.

Ministry is not a privilege earned with a degree, ordination, or paid position.  It is part of our inheritance as believers, and it's a shame that we've collectedly handed over this part of our calling to a professional ministerial class.

We've shirked our responsibilities.

As Christians, we are saved not only from something [sin and death] but for something, too: the ministry of reconciliation.  We are re-created in Christ not merely to fit us for Heaven, but that we might better image God and be his ambassadors of hope here and now.  We  are ministers of the Kingdom of God and Light to a world fumbling in darkness and longing for redemption.

In this season of my life, my most important ministry is not at MOPS, online, or even in my church or neighborhood:  it's at home with my kids.


{Now, I firmly believe that "A Woman's Place is in the House. And Senate." and all that.  This is my story in this season--not prescriptive for all women everywhere.  You got me?}

It's a weighty calling, to model Christ's love to small children and teach them to walk in his steps.  Many days, this ministry of sippy cups and time-outs and "in-our-family-we-use-our-words-to-love-one-another" feels less like a ministry than a battle--a battle I fear I am losing to two tiny babes with wills as strong as iron.  (Like their mama?)

I know I felt better-equipped to be a youth pastor.

Motherhood is a spotlight, illuminating every dark, selfish corner of my heart.  It's a mirror:  one of those magnifying ones revealing the grotesque blemishes I thought I'd hidden under layers of carefully applied concealer.

Parenting small people is so much harder that I anticipated, but motherhood is also drawing me to God's throne of grace with a passion I didn't know before.

Being acutely awareness of my own selfishness and brokenness is so. very. humbling.  But I can see God's power at work in my weakness, and I know that his Kingdom is growing here, even when I can't see it or feel it.

Today is a new day and his mercy abounds. 

so much shouting, so much laughter


Your turn.  Anyone can participate in ShoutLaughLove:  just link ANY post illuminating the truth, humor, difficulty, or beauty of your journey at this moment in time--new or from the archives.  Something that fired you up or made you smile.  What's helping you hold it together (or not).  If you are learning, struggling, or celebrating, I hope you'll share your story here every Tuesday.

Sunday

the steelers are God's team

super bowl '09, before we added another babe to the steeler nation;)
not being especially sporty, i can't in good conscience call myself a football fan, but i do own a terrible towel, two steelers tees, and i love pittsburgh something fierce. i had a mini crush on coach cowher and love mike tomlin even more.  (he went to william and mary: tribe pride!)

the following gem is an excerpt from"73 Reasons We're Living in a Golden Age of Football" and appeared in the September 2008 issue of GQ. this section is by Jean Marie Laskasis:

A Steelers game is a holy war, a fight for what is virtuous and right. To live here in Pittsburgh, where Heinz Field sits like a fat temple bursting with kielbasa-loving believers, is to know all there is to know. 

Unflinching, unconditional, ours is a faith handed to us from grandpa or great-grandpa, the guy who first got the season tickets and passed them down through generations. (The waiting list for season tickets is ten years long- you have to wait until someone dies.) Divorcing couples have been known to wage custody battles over season tickets; ex-husbands give in and sit with ex-wives, sharing nachos and cold Iron. Hey, it's the Steelers.

We are born into our religion, and we are baptized, and we receive our communion. A Steelers fan never strays. You move to Denver, or to some fancy Sunbelt place, or even to California, you stay a Steeler fan. People say the Cowboys are America's team, and we think that is so adorable. So very precious. Listen people: the Steelers are God's team. 

Hometown boy Bill Cowher having passed along to sainthood, we embrace a new messiah, Mike Tomlin, trusting in the guidance of our holiest family, the Rooneys (because they're from Pittsburgh). And now, of course, we have big Ben Roethlisberger, who can make us more than a tiny bit nervous, and Hines Ward, with his eternal smile (he smiles, we think, because he gets to play for Pittsburgh), and Troy Polamalu, who embodies the sort of humanity we expect of our Steelers. Good people. Good people. Hey, they play for Pittsburgh- a rusty promised land [...]

So we will sit and wave our Terrible Towels and battle the gray chill that cuts to the bone, wave that towel, wave that towel in praise. We will do this because this is our life's work.  We will continue to give birth to baby Steeler fans, and we will continue our charge to take over the world, to convert you and you and you. We are missionaries charged with leading you toward the light of Steeler nation. It's probably a rule in the Bible somewhere. Oh, it probably is.
from the archives (10/23/08), to pump you up for tonight's super bowl.  will you be celebrating?  are you a football fanatic or a bigger fan of commercials, seven layer dip, and post-game Glee?
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